Business, distractions, remembering.

I'm distracted. I have so many things I need to remember and concentrate on that I forget about everything. I have to keep up with cheer leading, color guard, not to mention school itself and all my individual classes and projects, due dates, and homework. If I practiced as much as I should and if I did all my homework when I should and all my projects when I should and was more organized I think I would either have a lot more time for me or a lot less time for me. If I started exersising regularly and doing everything that I should when I should, I don't know what would happen. Personally I don't think I would keep up with it too long just because I have no self-control and can't keep comitments with myself very well. I think I would end up not having anytime for myself because I work so slowly so it would take me forever to do anything. UGH!

With tape for measuring and a straight edge

So here's something I drew a little while ago. I know it's not anything great, but it's a start. I want to keep practicing and try to get really good at drawing.

List of things

So I've decided I want to make a list of things that I want to do. So here we go.

1.Get these converse.

2.Be nicer to people/ make some friends.

3. Clean out my room.

4. Paint my dresser.

5. Paint my room.

6. Make and paint an easel for me...maybe.

7. Make and paint a piano stand/shelf/something to put my piano on.

8. Go through my stuff and separate what I want/need and what I don't want/need.

9. Make a shelf to keep all the trinkets and what not that I have.

10. get back into playing piano and making bead bracelets. Those were the days.

11. save up some money for a car. I want somewhere to sing loud, where no one can hear me.

12. Go get my permit one of these days.

13. save up some money for the beach trip. Yay hoo!

14. start exercising/running daily. Get in shape and feel better, have more energy and whatnot.

15. Read my bible more and keep track of my readings and discoveries in a journal.

16. Keep a daily journal. So I'll remember later on.

17. Get organized! M mm mm. Like Ms. Johnson, my cheer leading coach and coolest teacher ever.

18. Sell some more cards for cheer leading. Cut the money down that my dad will have to pay for our uniforms, sweats, etc.

19. write blogs more often. To keep in touch with my self, you know! ha ha

20. pray more often I need to get closer with God in all I do.

21. Draw more and practice more. I would love to be really good at drawing and stuff

22. not eat so much (wastes food and money) Also it feels like I'm hoarding it or something.

23. Be more humble.

Now now, I know what you're thinking "It's pretty sad that the first thing on her list is getting new shoes." But it's not top priority or anything. It's just the first thing I thought of. So I will update on my progress of these things later.

TIME

There's only so much time in a day or a week. What most people tend to do is worry about what they're going to do with their time, or at least I do. I mean what does "Wasting time" even mean? I've been told that I was wasting my time before at one point in my life.

No I don't believe in the wasting of time,
But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine
-Fiona Apple

I agree with Fiona. How can you be wasting your time if your doing something you love or it's working towards something you would love?
I once suggested to some one the choice of not going to collage. They immediately told me I was dumb and narrow minded for thinking that.
But the thing is this, everyone has things that they like to do and that they don't like to do. Everyone has been told something all of their life.
Most parents raise their kids to think all there is to life is work and you must do good in school and go to collage and get a good paying job to support your family and if your wealthy it means your successful. I don't want to raise my kids that way. I don't want to force them to believe something. If your forced to do something, most of the time you won't be happy doing it. Like in the story Bridge to Teribithia after the church scene when they're all driving home and Jessie goes on about how he didn't think she liked going to church becayse he never liked it but she did. He didn't like it caused he was always forced to go and Leslie, who had never been to church, thought it was a beautiful thing.

I've been thinking about what I might do when I get older, and the picture in my mind is way too broad I have so many things I would like to do but like I said thate's not enough time for me to do everything I want to do, so I need to decide on one thing.

Choice 1.
I could go to collage major in photojournalism and directly start working right out of collage. Later, get married have kids and be a housewife.

Choice 2.
I could go to Bible school just to learn more about the bible and just get a job to keep me up and running and one day maybe get married and have kids and be a housewife from there on and maybe work sometimes.

Choice 3.
I could go to collage and major in education and be a teacher. The only flaw in that decision is that I would be working with many kids at once and I'm not sure I could handle it. But also get married and have kids and continue teaching until I want to retire.

Choice 4.
Kara suggested the other day maybe speech Therapy for children would be something good for me. I'd be teaching them and only be working with one child at a time. Then get married and maybed work part time.

Choice 5.
I could completely throw out the Idea of getting married and having kids and just work a ton and maybe adopt kids later.

Choice 6.
I could go to buisness school and major in accounting since I'm good with math and whatnot. Then Get married and have kids and be a housewife until they all get their own cars and then maybe go back to being an accountant.

All of these things I could definately try for and there are infinately many more things I might consider. Maybe I'm just thinking about it far too much. *sighs*

The Decemberists

Wednesday night I attended a concert. My Brightest Diamond (The same band (girl) who opened for the Sufjan Stevens concert that I went to) opened for The Decemberists. I went with Kara, Brittany, Sean, Savanna, Jesse(one of Savanna's friends), Josh (one of Sean's friends, and his wife Kathrine. It was held at the Tennessee Theatre. We had fabolus seats. We were in the balcony about the second row back in the center and it was a wonderful experience. Last time I saw My Birghtest Diamond I had never listened them before. I was amazed by her voice at the Sufjan concert. However I could see her this time. I absolutely fell in love with her music. She played different songs than the first time I had seen her. I think the reason I wasn't crazy about her at first is because I was anticipating the appearance of Sufjan Stevens. However we were seated behind a pole all the way to the right of the theatre. Needless to say they weren't the greatest seats and I hardly saw anything but the music spoke for itself. Anyways the concert was great and They did an encore, too. They played the Marner's Revenge song. The drummer had a single drum and was banging on it and pushing it around the stage with his foot. I loved it. Everyone was up and clapping and it was just one of the coolest things ever. I especially loved when they played 16 Military Wives because that was the first song I'd ever heard by them and just being there live when they played it was wonderful. I also really love it when they played Engine Driver just because I really like that song. I surprised at how many songs they played that weren't from their new CD, The Crane Wife, which is based on a Japanese folk tale about a poor man who marries a silk-weaver only to find she is actually a magical crane he once nursed back to health. So all in all it was a really great thing. I'd like to see them in concert again some day. I'd also love to see, Sufjan stevens again, and the Shins, Fiona Apple, The Arctic Monkeys, Bright eyes, Bloc Party, and a ton of other bands.

Out of the thought, it comes

I spend my days doing what I need to get by
I spend my nights thriving to inspire nmyself.
Theres not enough time
theres far too much space
good things turn wrong
the happy and sad all mixed in one
I can't tell which is which, confused out of my mind
climbing mountains and crossing bridges trying to find the door out of that room
Seeking what? I don't know.
Maybe happiness, maybe inspiration, maybe education, maybe love.
doing things, theres not enough time to know everything.
But curiosity overwhelms me.
Consumes me
To know can be a bad thing.
They say knowledge is power but did anyone ever think that power isn't always good.
what about the devil he had so much power that he fooled himself into thinking that her could take the place of God
To finish a thought has been difficult for me lately
I leap from thing to though in my mind
so why do they say curiousity killed the cat?
its only sometimes.
I'm not sure
Happiness is a necessity?
since when is that true.
I see people everyday frantically searching for happiness
for love and money and whatnot.
What no one realises it whats the most obvious to them