mmhmm.

If you knew that something you were doing would hurt one of you're friends then why would you do it?
I mean come on, right?
Oh well.
Get over it, Hannah. You're in High School.
Of course there will be people who do things you don't want them to do. Everyone isn't always thinking about you.

No one is perfect, forgive.
You're not even perfect. People forgive you.
Gah, I feel like I'm going to throw up.
Doesn't this just make you want to stop trying and throw everything away?

when we bleed, we bleed the same.
we're all together in this world.
Everyone has been hurt. You're not the only person here you know.
How could you be so selfish?!?
Nothing can stay perfect whether it be something tangible or not.
Some things never change.
Some things get really stinking old.
I don't feel as close to some people as I used to.
But the feeling is mutual.
I think this is good. It is good that maybe it's not the stereotyped "dreamed for" kinda thing.
If it was then maybe it would turn out like every other one.
I don't think things are ending, I think it's at a constant.
Do I want things to stay this way?
Maybe, maybe I do.
But I'll only bend so far before I break. Only fall so far until I hit ground. I don't know if it will be good or not. If it will be soft, secure, and comforting. Or if it will be hard and rough and leave me scarred.
Only time will tell.
For this, I almost hate time.

A weekend worth blogging about.

So it all started Friday night. Football games seem to always put me in a good mood, but this one got off on a bad foot. Let's just say sometimes people can be annoying.
Anyway, despite me twirling terribly, I felt really good after half time. Josh had to leave the game early which made me sad but that's okay. So I got home around 11ish and went to bed around 12 I got a long sleep although it wasn't a very good rest. I had killer leg cramps which I am also expecting to be on the agenda for the next few nights. So I woke up around 12:30 the next day. Mara, Kara and I all got ready to go to John's house to celebrate his 16th birthday. Before we arrived, we dropped Austin off at one of his friend's houses. While we were waiting for Amy to get back in the car Mara threw Kara's shoe out the car into oncoming traffic, which was fun. Then we finally arrived at John's house, which was incredibly nice. Then we turned on the game. While we were there I did the following extremely fun things:
watched football
ate
made fun of Cody's face for being a butt
-played solitaire on Cody's warm lap top
-Played with John's dog Maggie
-watched some You tube videos
-watched everyone get drenched with water while blindfolded and trying to hit a pinata
-watch a cupcake war
-got really dizzy on a tire swing
-watched our band play on TV
-Sing happy birthday to John
-listened to a song that Cody's computer sings about Kirby.
-texted Josh and Mark
-laughed a lot
- and all in all had a really great time
So after all of this, I came home and Kara was on the computer and I hear a cellphone go off. I say, "Kara is your cell phone ringing?" while noticing Michelle's cell phone on the bed lit up. I went over to pick it up and notice it says that her number is calling the phone. Then I ran upstairs and Michelle started laughing. I answered it and asked her if it was my phone. She said yes and I thanked her and Billy whole heartily. Oh I was so happy. So I called Josh and was like holy crap I'm calling you from MY PHONE! and he was all happy for me and stuff.
It was great.
This weekend has been so wonderful and it's not even over yet.

Inside.

Sometimes I just wish I was inside peoples' heads. Some people just say things and it makes you wonder, did they think twice about saying that, are they serious, why won't they just talk to me, or do they really care?

Sometimes it's just so hard to communicate. And the question I ask often is, what are you thinking right now? But people aren't always honest about it, you know? I mean I've been asked that and lied because I didn't want to say what I was thinking about cause of logical reasons, but with my friends I need to be able to tell them anything and everything with complete trust in them that they won't judge me or spread the word. I don't know if I've gained that trust with them, which isn't good at all. So many things just take time and even though it's so hard to wait, you have to in order to have that special trust. And the people that I don't have it with, I can tell because they won't tell me anything either. Some things are better left unsaid to me I guess.

Anyway.
Game tomorrow! woot!
18 more days until Heroes comes back on NBC! double woot!
111 days until Christmas.