I was lying in bed and I couldn't fall asleep as usual. So I pulled out the trusty Ipod and played a list that I had composed specifically for this type of situation. It's full on slow-paced Jon Foreman songs and I don't know how many times this one particular song has made me weep uncontrollably.
Anyways I'm going to post the lyrics here...
Somebody's Baby :
She yells
If you're homeless sure as hell you'd be drunk
Or high or trying to get there or begging for junk
When people don't want you they just throw you money for beer
Her name is November she went by Autumn or Fall
It was seven long years since the Autumn
When all of her nightmares grew fingers
And all of her dreams grew tears
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby still
She screams
Well if you've never gone it alone
Well then go ahead, you better throw the first stone
You got one lonely stoner waiting to bring to her knees
She dreams about Heaven, remembering Hell
As the nightmare that she visits and knows all to well
Every now and again, when she's sober she brushes her teeth
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby still
Today was her birthday, strangely enough
When the cops found her body at the foot of the bluff
The anonymous caller this morning tipped off the police
They got her ID from her dental remains
The same fillings intact, the same nicotine stains
The birth and the death were both over
With no one to grieve
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby still
So yeah it got me a little emotional. And I just started thinking about all the people that I love that are lost. Some I see almost every day and some I see maybe once a year, if that. I was thinking about how I have met several people that are just trying to get by to the next day with a bit of happiness. I so strongly feel for them cause I know what it's like when you don't know what to do about anything and you just don't want to think about it anymore. You just want to forget and move on. Trust me I know. I thought about their souls all looming about in a monstrous mob in this huge black abyss. Some of them were glowing blue and some orange like they were aflame. It was terrifying for whatever reason and I couldn't stop from just wailing out "WHY?!" in an angry, confused, compassionate scream for these people. From the little girl at Lakota, Her name was Kendra, and she was so real on the inside but just did things to trouble and people couldn't see past it, to love her. To a face not so different that I see quite a bit more that is incredibly confused about who she really is so she just does what she thinks the world wants her to do. Then even a close friend who seems so lost in the superficial things that they miss what's true and really actually good in life. Then there are all the wonderful people that suffer so much because of their own love. I soon got to thinking about how badly everyone is suffering whether they know God or not because for those who know him, a tremendous burden of love is thrusted upon them. They adopt the tremendous love of Jesus and painstakingly mourn for those who aren't blessed with his presence. Those that number in masses so much so that it's almost a terrible struggle to believe in Christ. What, with all the temptations, distractions, suffering, and sorrow just to name a few. It is as if everything in the world in against us. But to follow Christ is not a simple task. To follow Christ is to become a warrior and to fight til the death. And I don't think I'll ever decide to stop fighting.
