Friday, December 30, 2016
The Persimmon that Drew Me to Worship
Posted by Hannah at 7:01 AM 0 comments
Monday, July 25, 2016
I Have a Confession to Make
In our Bible study group and in our church over the past few months or so we have been studying the book of Acts. Acts is a book about the beginnings of the Christian movement after Jesus's death and resurrection. We are studying Acts to learn about what the early church looked like and how we can learn from their mistakes and triumphs. We are trying to find out what God wants to teach us in the midst of a new church plant that we are a part of at Fellowship Pellissippi Church. Let me tell you what I have learned.
I have learned that the Apostles spoke truth, boldly. That the fear of death, imprisonment, stoning, and persecution was a very close reality for the Apostles when they were speaking truth. However, that looming cloud did not even cause them to wince. In fact in chapter 5 they rejoice that they were worthy enough to beaten for Jesus's name. It's an intense book.
So fast forward to the present in southern North America. This is NOT what Christianity is supposed to look like. I imagine if Paul was alive to see this, that many churches would be getting letters. In my few years in southern Christian culture I have seen a pendulum swing. When I first became a Christian I saw judgmental hypocrites who made certain sins out to be taboo isolating those people from the love of Christ, while the sins these very same Christians struggle with are made out to be less of a big deal somehow. Let me tell you that in this instance, Satan has won. He has kept people from the redeeming freedom of Jesus with judgement. Let scripture speak some truth to that.
1. Romans 3:23 We are ALL sinners. All meaning Christian and Non-Christian alike. And just because I become a Christian does not mean I magically stop sinning. CHRISTIANS SIN EVERY DAY. That's why we need Jesus.
2. Luke 4:18 Jesus came to set the captives free. All humankind is captive to sin. God made himself into a human person to take the punishment that we should get for ALL OUR SIN, so that we can have a relationship with him. THE GOSPEL IS GOOD NEWS!
On the other end I have seen southern Christian culture swing from judgmental hypocrites to a bunch of scared pansies. I am including myself in this. We are so afraid of offending people that we don't speak truth. We compartmentalize our lives in to groups of people where it is okay to speak truth in one, but in the other we act like truth doesn't exist. Satan has won here, too. He has kept people from the redeeming love of Jesus with fear. Here is some more truth.
1. 2 Timothy 1:7 God has not called us to a spirit of fear and timidity, but a spirit of POWER, LOVE, and SELF-CONTOL. Romans 8:15 We did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters of the Creator of the universe!
2. Romans 8:31 If GOD is for us, who can be against us? Ps. 27:1 The LORD is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear?
3. Acts 1:8 The last thing Jesus says to the disciples is that they will receive the power of the Holy Spirit, not to treasure it and adore it and sing worship songs to it and then hang it up in their closets with their Sunday church clothes, but to share it with all people to the ends of the earth. The freedom we have been given in Christ is not a light to be hidden under a bowl (Matt. 5:14ff) or a shiny golden coin to be buried in the dirt until Jesus comes (Matt. 25:14ff). Out of the abundance of joy in our hearts, our mouths should speak. Luke 6:45
Now. I have not written this post to bash Christians. I have written this post to proclaim truth. Truth to myself and to others. The Spirit of God works within us to help us realize our sin and repent of it. My sin right now is allowing my fears to muffle the message of truth. I want to confess that I feel completely lost when it comes to sharing the freedom of Christ in America. I don't know what a good "model of Evangelism" is or how to begin in a conversation about Jesus to a friend who doesn't know Him. I confess to feeling completely overwhelmed when I think about sharing the Good News where I am right now. BUT what I DO know is that I and many Christians around me have been fooled into believing any and every excuse to not do what Jesus has called us to do because it is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. But God is moving in my life and in the community of my church. He proclaiming the truth of scripture to me that is really stinkin' scary, but nonetheless true. When I read the parable of the talents (Matt 25:14ff), I am honestly terrified because God has given me a gift of Grace and I've buried it in my heart. I adore it like a shrine in my closet. I only talk about it in places where I am safe from judgement with like-minded people.
And as I melt into a wimpy puddle of fear and sink in an ocean of self-doubt, I hear the authoritative voice of Jesus reminding me that I AM a daughter of the Most High God. I AM redeemed by a God who is MIGHTY to save. Fear has no place at the sound of His Great Name. The Spirit of this very God dwells within me and has the power to do far more than we can ever ever ask or imagine. God has surrounded me with men and women who fear and love Him. This is His church whom he adores. A church that though it may falter, makes glad the city of God. He is in the midst of her and she will not fail.
Psalm 46
a very presentb help in trouble.
2Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Posted by Hannah at 10:18 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Quarter life crisis.
Wow.
It's been almost 5 years since my last blog post.
I thought about deleting all my old posts and starting over, but those posts are part of who I am. And some of them are not bad for an emotional high schooler. haha They are my history, however awkward and embarrassing.
So I have been having a lot of weird life circumstances that have made me especially emotional and made me do some peculiar things. I feel like I am in high school again and I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. It's funny how things are cyclical. Naturally I turned to blogging, because that's how I solved my problems in high school.
For the last four years I have been a busy, blustering mess. I have been fooled into thinking theres a lot of stuff that I am "supposed" to be doing. I have this massive fear that if I don't do things right in my life that all the bad things that happened to me in the past will happen again and make me feel utterly hopeless and I will be a major disappointment to God.
Needless to say it's been a little stressful. In April I turned 24, so I am terming this awkward stage in my life my "quarter-life crisis." I bought a ukulele and am teaching myself to play, although I've never played a musical instrument in my life. It's super relaxing and I love it. I also started listening to all the weird indie music that I used to listened to in high school. Not that my previous balance of Christian radio and as my husband calls it "gangster rap" was any better. Alas, here I am. For the first time in 4 or 5 years I have had to slow down, unless I want to go mad. I think that up until this point I have just been rushing to the next task and ignoring all my problems. Working multiple jobs and being in college, student teaching, first year of teaching and marriage. That's what my life has been for 4 years. Now I have off for the summer. I have so much time and its made me think about what I'm really doing.
So I was sitting in church last Sunday and Brad Raby had a great message on the book of Acts. How have I missed this? I have been a Christian for over a decade and here I am sobbing, thinking, "I can't believe God would allow his incredible power to reside in me, the worst of sinners." How amazing is God!?
Here I am.
A broken vessel of skin
made from dirt
the only thing that gives me any significance
is His breath
in my lungs.
I have it inside me.
I am a Holy Spirit-filled human person with all the irony that exists in that statement.
I am clothed in His Righteousness
All my stupidity
All my shame
All of my busyness
All of my anger
All of my fear
All of my hurt
All of my incompetence
IS WASHED.
His Holiness, Power, and Love is greater than all of my sin.
Even after I am washed
In this is incredible injustice of Grace
I am filled
filled with power
filled with love
filled with laughter
filled with gratitude
filled with wonder
filled with joy
filled with the Spirit of the Most High God.
and although I have known it for a decade
I have never believed it.
That is why I am sitting in this high school auditorium, crying like I am really still in high school.
That is why I am raising my arms in abandonment, because such Grace is to wonderful for me to bear.
God has shaken me.
And that is why I am writing this blog like a high schooler
And sharing this good, good news.
Posted by Hannah at 4:59 PM 0 comments




