tsh. pfft.

I am the kind of person who doesn't like to participate in things drama related, especially in my own life.

See, the way I see it is, I love helping people, and I find most people need someone to talk to who can understand, relate and keep their mouth shut. I find myself to be generally good at this. So lately I've been trying to rid drama from my own life so that I might be able to concentrate on other people's problems.

I want to help other people because I'm so happy, and so much more than fine.
My relationship with God is pretty much better than it's ever been.
My Friends are set in stone and care about me so much.
My family isn't a big problem to me anymore.
And I'm pretty much just doing dandy.

But I know so many other people aren't.

So here I am happy as a mouse, trying to help other people with their problems and BAM drama hits me smack in the face like a guy who just told his girlfriend he cheated on her.

But the thing is, I'm not the cause of it.
None of it's my fault either.

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like sometimes, people worry about me too much, you know?

I love it when people are there for me but when they talk about me without my knowledge "for my own good" it hurts.

You know people worry about me, true, but I want freedom sometimes.

Idk maybe I'm just dumb...

This week.

So this week has been...well, there.

Monday was supposed to be picture day for band, but due to rain was not. Which made my day eh cause I was looking forward to it.

Then Band practice on Tuesday got canceled, another thing I planned on looking forward to that day.

So basically I had nothing to look forward to all week except for the Halloween game.

Lately I've been trying to shift my focus from the past to things to come. So I've been trying to find things to look forward to.

Tuesday, I went home and cleaned for my dad, but he payed me so I guess it was really for me.

I also Faced a fear this day. Williamson yelled at me.
:[ Don't get me wrong I'm still deathly afraid of being yelled at, but everyone took it a lot better than I imagined, including myself.

My costume also came in on Tuesday and kind of gave me something to look forward to.

So Wednesday came. School, Kara's, Church, Sonic. Then my dad let me stay at Kara's wed. night so I was happy about that.

Then Thursday happened. A terrible collide of screaming, crying, responsibility, and choices. Then Thursday got so much better :]
So so much better.

I think that the reason that I clean when I'm upset is because I think it will organize things in my life and make them less complicated or something...

Friday was a day of absolutely no care at all. In a good way. I cared about nothing during school.

Although we lost the game, Friday night was amazing. I determined my favorite costume was John's J.D. impersonation. :D

Christina is making Kara and I scarves!
So then Saturday arrived, last competition of the year.
And to top this marching season off wonderfully, we won Grand Champions. :D

I have to say I almost cried because everyone was being so emotional about the Seniors. It makes me happy that we all love each other this much tho :]

And today has been quite delightful. John wasn't here to teach class this morning, but there was lots of food and a seemingly different topic of discussion.

All in all it's been a good week. :]
But I'm still praying hard.