Hope.

I've been reading this book called "Faith that Breathes." It's a sort of devotional\book\journal type of thing given to me from a friend. I've really enjoyed it thus far. It's very thought provoking. It quotes scripture at the beginning of each daily devotion.

"As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him."

-Matthew 4:18-20

Now, I've heard this a lot before. But today when I read this it was just one of those things that kind hits you in the face all of the sudden.

Lately I've been kind of struggling with what God has planned for me. Cause I mean I know what God wants for my life, at least I'm pretty sure. But I keep asking myself the same question. How? How is all of this going to happen?

Mr. Williamson was yelling a lot today in band and It really bothers us new band office girls. I think it's fair to say that he frightens us a bit, but all of this is besides the point. Anyway, I guess the band wasn't doing what they were supposed to be doing but he stopped to give a brief sort of inspirational speech, at least I thought it was inspirational. He said he had been listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about hope. Some guy called in and said that hope had gotten him through his whole life. Mr. Williamson seemed to both agree and disagree with this guy. Williamson went on to say that hope was always good, but if it's all you have it doesn't get you very far. You can't just hope for things to happen, you've got to make them happen.

Now usually Mr. Williamson doesn't say much to me besides "twirl harder", but as odd as it seems I feel like all of that was meant to happen. I think God wanted me to hear this. I had been talking to someone about this just last night and was praying about it as well. It seems like it almost happened too soon. But I guess I had to realize this soon and the verse I quoted earlier just kind of pulled everything together.

I've realized that I do hope for things to work out, for things to be right, and for them to go well. I hope all the time for the best in most situations. Up until now that has seemed to work every time, but I think it's gotten to the point where I have to not only hope but do what is necessary. I mean Jesus just walked up to these guys and says come and follow me for the rest of your lives. Stop everything you're doing and come with me. Where? I'm not so sure they knew, but it says at once they left their nets and followed him.

It hit me that I've been asking too many questions and not putting enough faith in God. Which is strange for me because usually having faith is my strong spot. But it's not as easy to just have faith that everything will be okay. I'm trying hard because this doubtfulness is derived from the world and from statistical reality. It's hard to just let go of all of it though. I am trying. It is getting better. :]

I hope everyone has a pleasant weekend.