I had the worst fit of anger I think I have ever had last night.
I honestly had no one good reason to be that angry.
It was a bunch of things, mostly my fault.
Which is even more frustrating.
I really am trying.
It's hard to just suddenly stop doing something and start doing something completely different.
But yeah, this rage inside of me was crazy.
It made me want to throw up.
So I did...
And honestly it was kind of relieving.
I really felt like there was some monster inside my stomach.
It felt like it was breathing fire and it made me feel like I was going to breathe fire too.
It made me want to break my own fingers.
This is the worst my anger has ever been.
I've actually never felt like this before.
I scared myself.
But on the way home I wanted to jump out of the car while we were on the interstate.
I just felt like if I did everything would go away.
I knew better though.
Anyways
Now everyone probably thinks I'm a freak.
I honestly don't care.
If you think I'm a freak, don't read my blog.
It's not that hard.
So this weekend was pretty busy.
I still had a lot of time to think though.
When I start back at school tomorrow, it will be March.
I only have to go to school 11 days in march because of the band trip, spring break, good Friday, and some other random things. But yeah.
Kara's 16th birthday is in 8 days.
:D :D
AND the 30 hour famine is this weekend.
:D :D
This week is going to require a lot of prayer.
I hope everyone's week is great.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Anger.
Posted by Hannah at 5:44 PM
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1 comments:
So yeah... That is pretty crazy, not you, just that you threw up because of it! That is some serious emotion and anger!! I'm really sorry that you even had to feel that! You're such a great person Hannah!!!
I don't know if you want to hear this, but it's simple, if you don't... Then Don't read it!! ;D You really need to confront whatever the heck is bothering you! Seriously, you can't let this anger fester inside of you, it will ruin you, it will DESTROY you! No one controls you, especially anger. Get a hold of it, choose to use it for constructive motivation, not thoughts of breaking your fingers or jumping onto the interstate from a moving vehicle. You definitely shouldn't be throwing up. You're not a freak, I know exactly what you are talking about!! I'm the man when it comes to anger, ask anyone... Unfortunately that's not a good thing to be known for. Enough of all the "what you shouldn't do s" I know, it's easy for me to sit back and tell you all this, because I don't know what you're going through! Just remember you have control of your emotions, I'm definitely not telling you not to be angry, I'm just saying it shouldn't come out like that. It's awesome that you talk about it though! I'll end here... I'm still working on my own life, but I'll tell you what I've learned along the way when I can. I def don't have all the answers, just examples of what anger will do in reference of ruining your life! Take care of yourself!
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