Have an open mind and learn something.

I worked this weekend, and in the process of working I had a lot of time to talk with one of my co-workers/boss, Jonathan. Somehow, everything we talked about ended up turning to something regarding God, Christianity, Religion, etc. It was pretty cool actually. It got me thinking about a lot. I think it got him thinking about a lot, too, which is a very good thing. :] He seems to me to be one of those very laid back "Christians". He ended up helping me realize that sometimes I take things way too seriously. I'm way too hard on myself and I worry way to much. I think I helped him realize that he's not taking things seriously enough, especially God. Which is awesome. At the first pool party we worked together, I was the one bringing up God, mostly because well God is what my entire life is about, but by the end of the week, he was the one asking me questions and engaging in spiritual conversation. It's pretty cool how God works.

Saturday morning I read a new post on my best friend's blog about fear. I started thinking about fear. I realized that fear is something I create myself. Pretty soon, I'm creating my own limits. I'm limiting myself from great things! So then I started trying to eliminating some irrational fears that I had by getting to the root of the problem. I realized that most of my fears were social. I hate interacting with people that don't know me, especially with older people anywhere from teens to near death, but I don't have that much of a problem with kids. I came to the conclusion that I'm afraid of adult confrontation, speaking in large crowds, drawing attention to myself, and even speaking in class because I feel like everyone's judging me. I couldn't figure out what to do about it and I figured thinking out loud plus another input could go a long way. So I asked Jonathan. He starting talking about how it doesn't matter what people think about you, blah blah blah. Yeah I don't know if I believe that it doesn't matter what they think, but I find myself tip-toeing around people's minds for they're satisfaction. And I think THAT is ridiculous. God's judgment is the only judgment that matters to me. That doesn't mean I'm going to start being a close-minded rebel. I think people are one of the best ways to learn. I'm just going to be myself. I've even tried it out a bit and I find I like myself better that way. When I'm not constantly worried about people thinking I'm some awful person when they don't know me.

Then I started thinking, what if something I'm doing is really wrong and I've misinterpreted or missed something? Jon pointed out that I seem to take things like that way too seriously. That it might be wrong for me to worry so much. Then I started thinking, "Yeah, I know I worry a butt ton, and I shouldn't, cause it says not to in the Bible." It's a verse that I refer to way too much, but don't follow like I should.

Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)

Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I never applied this verse to my life cause it never made sense to me that you didn't have to worry about anything and try to live a sinless life at the same time. Because we make mistakes everyday that we don't even think twice about.

Then I remembered another verse that God pushed on me a long time ago, but I never got it.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

It doesn't matter what happens. Both good and bad things will happen no matter what I do. I can't control everything. All that matters is where my heart is. What I want and what I'm trying for.


Anyways that was my revolution that I had this weekend. It was pretty cool to feel like I had everything in perspective for once. :]

Ending in lyrics of an amazing Coldplay song with not only beautiful music but fantastic lyrics. I SO wish I could see Coldplay live! They have been all I can listen to since I heard their new album.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.